please stop loving me

If there’s a wonderful technology that could grant one wish, whatever the price is, to make someone forget something without them even knowing it happened — I’d be the first one standing in line.

I’d ask for only one thing: for him to please … stop staring at me with that look.

That look I’ve seen before.

The look of someone who's in love.

The look of someone who misses the presence of their beloved.

The look of someone who would tear the world apart, mess up the whole galaxy, if their beloved was hurting.

So if someone ever asks me why I hate seeing your profile picture pop up randomly, or even seeing a name that's the same as yours, or the weirdest one, the name of your hometown, it’s because it hurts.

Hailee Steinfeld in Let Me Go once said:

"... and I wish you would hurt me harder than I hurt you."

And I wish you did too.

I wish for it, because it hurts to carry the guilt of not being able to love you back.

Not even like I could take it, either.

Maybe if you had hurt me harder, maybe then I could’ve let go more peacefully.

But it was the way you stayed kind even after us that punished me the most.

And I still carry it, even now.